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Editorials   "What Would You Do" Parody
- By Mike Schneider

Last summer, I wrote two parodies, one entitled 'Twas The Night Before Darkness, and another, The Real Dolphin Shady. Those were received well enough and I enjoyed writing them, so I figured I'd give it another go this year. However...

Please be forewarned, this is for the purpose of FUN only, take it with a light heart, and remember it may in fact come off as lame... The author may not actually have these feelings about Nintendo, or Retro as companies - this was written for the sake of ENTERTAINMENT only. If you cannot take sarcasm well, then you should stop reading right now. With that said, if you know the lyrics to "What Would You Do", by City High, you should enjoy this parody:


Boys and girls wanna hear a true story?
It’s Saturday night read this real weird story.
They had the rumors totally erupting
About a certain game really sucking… And I
Took some time, to read this story
About a girl named Samus, has quite the history.
I said, “Nintendo, why Retro the one messing with Samus?
I guess a whole lot’s changed since I’ve seen you last.”

They said…

(Chorus):
What would you do if your star was at home,
Crying all alone because her game was no good,
And the only way to save face is to
Ditch the project and lose a little money
All ‘cause we were wrong
So we are stuck now
Finish or cancel it
And Samus ain’t got a job now
So for you this is just another news time
But for us this is what we call life.


Samus ain’t the only one on the GameCube
But that’s no excuse to be acting all crazy
Then reality looked me right square in the eye
And said, “everyday Metroid Prime is plugged in, its hoping to die.”
And said, “Gamer, I know about pain cuz,
Such a valuable franchise appears to be wasted
Before I was a teenager,
I’d been through more Metroid than you can even relate ta.”

(Chorus)

Ooh…then Nintendo said (What Would You Do if?)
Get up on your feet and stop letting go of employees (What Would You Do If?)
Cause we don’t want the public thinking Samus is dead (What Would You Do If?)
Get up on our feet and give ‘em something new to see (What Would You Do If?)

(Chorus)

(Chorus)